Grow Up and Blow Away

This is the life. Life is realizing where you messed shit up. But messing said shit up may result in beneficial results. If this is the life then why does it feel so good to die today?

Contestations

If everything happens for a reason then timing is a bitch. I get that I cannot control everything. Its perfectly normal and perfectly depressing. In the midst of living there are bouts of half-living. Only seeing life through half-opened eyes. The breaths you take are shallow, the steps you take are lazy. Your mind needs to be hot-wired when you wake up (at 3 pm), and you need to convince yourself that its okay that the water in the shower will start off cold.
While this may seem like you are living.... you aren't. We've been told since day one to get a job, buy a house, lease a car. Wear a suit, buy a television... all of this ends up making somebody else more rich, and therefore, more powerful. People have been brain-washed (yes, it is a touchy subject but we all have been indoctrinated) without realizing any of it.
I say don't give in. Sure its great to have an education, but education shouldn't revolve around or be ran like a business. Besides; who decided that you can only learn something substantial and worthwhile in the classroom or auditorium. Academia has failed many, and is the fleeting standard of expectation. That is all academia can provide. Expectations. Hopes, dreams, promises. Nothing real, of course.

In the end, when the human race must come down to a do-or-die decision, our Ivy League graduates aren't going to be put on a pedestal and questioned for their opinions, they'll being doing whatever it is everyone else is. Because they too, have been indoctrinated by the upper echelon of this global society. The New World Order is coming.



note: I've been watching way too many conspiracy documentaries....

A good friend recently told me that I was not a suit. This was comforting. No one wants to be a suit. I've decided that if all goes south, so will I. The complete polar opposite of a suit is a vagabond. If there is no 9-5 future I might as well let the vagabusiness start. Is this possible? I'd love to prove this friend wrong but I don't think it is going to happen anytime soon. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with wearing a suit to go to work, in the literal sense. Its just that the overall identity behind being a suit is so... expected, calculated, and compromising. Here's to the suit in sheep's clothing. Here's to the wolf that wears a tie. Hopefully they don't get any closer than they need to be.

note: vagabusiness is not what you think it is. pervert.

Stories Yet To Come

There is only so much one person can say when they are faced with an ultimatum of following their heart. It not easy to make that decision. If you do commit to changing your life around and flipping your world on its head, can you undo the mistakes? I wouldn't recommend you undo anything. In fact, no matter what happens, I wouldn't even refer to the bumps in the road as mistakes.
If you managed to get some sort of life experience out of things, then you're already ahead of the people who live the same day over and over again.
Here's a tip: if all goes horribly wrong when you're in the midst of changing your life, run. Go teach in Thailand, build towns in Botswana, catch crabs (not those crabs) in Alaska. Just do something. Live. Do it while your capable of living so you won't be a stuffy old bag who regrets their existence.
The most important aspect of life that many people have forgotten is creativity- you don't need many tools to be creative. A pen and paper is enough to start, and if you make a lot mistakes, I'd suggest an HB pencil. Better yet you shithead... stop reading this and open up a word pad, or paint, or something and let your ideas flow. Don't let your life become an aimless documentary about breathing. Don't think twice or let other people judge you. If you fall on your face, remember that you experienced an exhilarating free-fall on the way down.

Regards

S.