Let me be Your Cynic

Its easy for you to turn the other way, pretend to be happy, think about the good times. Then lie. Lie about all that you say you stand for. Lie about your standards. Lie about your projected future. You've made your way into the smelting pot of society and you're damn well near the end of your shelf-life. You're close to expiring. You're up-in-arms and about to bear arms so that you can tell the man with no arms he is lucky.

You walk in a crowd and look at people as if you know them or recognize them from some place, but you don't. You pretend that you're life is complicated, but it isn't. You place your bet, but its too late. It something that you're going to have to deal with.

Fulfill The Dream

I saw her with another man walkin downtown

She’s not mine and she'll never be by my side walkin downtown

I’ve only met her once before

She was alone in a back booth

A drink and a cigarette

Smoking like she was waiting for someone

Me, stealing glances as she stole my breath

The next one's on me

May I take this seat?

The rest of the bar recedes

We talked on traveling back roads overseas

"Girl, a change sounds good to me"

she said,

"Who can find that kind of time?"

I’d only met her once before

She was alone in a back booth

A drink and a cigarette

Drinking like she was waiting for someone

Me, stealing glances as she stole my breath

The next one's on me

And after it's done

The sun comes up and she's gone

after it's done

You just move on

A night can show what's made plain by the sun

An Open Letter from Jack.

Here I am.. days, weeks, and months past my expiration date. You've kept me in the back of the freezer so that I don't go bad, but either way my core has started to turn. Part of it is my own doing... I could have been less stubborn, I could have catered to your demands but in the end I know this is best for me. You've left me in the middle of the ocean with no life raft. Hopefully one day I'll find your mainland, but it will definitely be on my terms.

Being around someone of your nature used to be like going 100 mph with the windows down... I didn't have a care in the world and no one else mattered to me.

I am Jack's Raging Bile Duct.

Growing up is something everyone must do, and with that most people learn not to be selfish. Most people is a group that you do not fall into. I am sorry, but that is the reality. At first that was a good thing, at the end I wished away your existence.

I am Jack's Cold Sweat.

All of this may seem harsh but I am partially happy to have been put through shenanigans such as yours. Because of it I know now not to fully trust everyone I meet, and have since gone on to meet many new and interesting people. If that is the one thing I have taken away in the year-plus since meeting you, I thank you for it.

I Am Jack's Complete Lack of Surprise

This has rendered me weathered and broken. Not broken in the sense that I can no longer function, broken in the sense that I know there is no completion to my being... I am just parts connecting to other parts making the best of the situation. The best way to describe the way I feel is like a tourist with a camera, and I'm okay with that.

I Am Jack's Smirking Revenge.

Whenever I take in the twilight, I feel absurd and physically irrelevant. The pace of life is seemingly fast but in reality we're nothing but a slight directional mass of molecules on a path of destruction. Keeping that in mind, I try to get to the end of that path with a minimum amount of blockades... something that cannot be done easily. For this, there is really no fix, but every Jack wants to hear her say "Its getting late... lets stay out as late as we can... we'll drive around the lake... just a little too fast." This is when Jack keeps his eyes on the lines and feels her head on his shoulder... and you're damn near perfection.

I Am Jack's Broken Heart.

Нет

[The title is in Cyrillic]

I feel that I will need to say no more often in life. Its not that I've been suckered into giving my time or that I've been too nice, its just a natural evolution that needs to take place.
Currently, I am re-evaluating my sense of self. In the past, I've committed to things that weren't necessarily ideal for me, but I still went through with them. I've allowed things to develop too fast and I've sacrificed my health among many other things in order to do things that I thought made other people happy.
It'll be called selfish... I'm okay with that.

Chapter Two: Exodus

There comes a time in everyone's life where you have to pick up the pieces and move on. I believe that I have reached one of those junctures. If I end up relapsing and not being able to move on, I know for fact that it will ultimately risk my happiness and sanity. The saying where one's professional success comes at the cost of their personal success could not apply more to me right now. I feel that all I have offered in terms of friendship, companionship, and loyalty has been rendered meaningless and that is a huge ego-crusher.
Right now, the fork in my path is one surrounded by fog. I've made choices, but they were not independently done. My choices were made based on other people's actions, and now more than ever, I am making choices that will benefit me.
I'll being hitting the road next summer.... It will likely be a road trip to California. That's insane I know, but it will liberate me and I know that I'm not running away from anything, I'll be running toward life. When I mentioned this to my mother she asked why. I told her it was a trip of a lifetime. She then reminded me that I have already been on a trip of a lifetime, when I went to Europe 3 years ago. I just figure that my trip to Europe was in my last lifetime, and I've changed so much since then... I've found myself in a different time in my life. A different lifetime.

When it comes down to it I know that the family and friends (at least the true friends) will still be on the same wavelength as me regardless of where I am situated geographically. As sad as it is to admit it-- "There's always Facebook!"

There isn't too much that can happen in the next year to change my mind. Barring some catastrophic event or the inclusion of somebody that can drastically change my life, I'm California-bound, a goal of mine that was set years ago.
It would be awesome to be able to achieve that goal. It'd be one of the few things I could cross off my bucket list. I figure I have some time left.

Peace&Love

BustedTees - The Original Octabong

The Original Octabong

Quite possibly the greatest party accessory available besides the outrageous party going friend, this Octabong (haha get it??) will bring you closer to your friends as you all backwash one another's saliva, and if you're lucky vomit. $45 seems like a decent price, and if this thing catches on, we will definitely see this in Old School Dos.....

Waiting...

A coma might feel better than this, 
Attempting to discover where to begin.
You're weighed down, you're full of something.
Of sickness, and desertion.
You're weighed down, you're full of something, 
You're underneath it all.

So say goodbye to love, 
And hold your head up high.
There's no need to rush
We're all just waiting, waiting to die.

Hoping a better place is all I need, 
With moments of innocence and mystery.
Oh, it's the little things you miss.
Like waking up all alone.
Oh, it's the little things you miss, 
When you're underneath it all.

So say goodbye to love, 
And hold your head up high.
There's no need to rush
We're all just waiting, waiting to die.

All your friends seem like enemies
When you're broken down and empty.
All your friends seem like enemies
When you're broken down and empty.

So say goodbye to love, 
And hold your head up high.
There's no need to rush
We're all just waiting, waiting to die.